Women's Sexual Well-being

This week’s blog is about women helping to redefine societies definition of beauty and it’s about being comfortable with our sexual well-being. To do this, we have to know our bodies. This blog is strictly for educational purposes. Although this topic is about women's sexual well-being, men are free to read on. Keep in mind there is sensitive subject matter being covered. I have been wanting to blog about this topic for the past year but I knew I really had to do my research and I wanted it to be done tastefully. In addition, I decided to take a women’s personal health class over this Summer and it has been quite enlightening. But I can also say I may not agree with everything I was taught, still I had an open mind and felt I learned a lot.

There is so much to cover on this subject so I may do a series but I'm undecided at this time. For those of you who are uncomfortable with this subject you don’t have to read this but I do hope you keep an open mind and not be ashamed of your body.

In our society today women face many challenges but one of the biggest challenges is our appearance and sexuality. In fact, there is such a double standard for women and how we are supposed to look that we have become uncomfortable with our bodies and sexuality. This is based on what society tells us. What is important is that we set aside, “societies norms” and really look at ourselves for the beautiful person we are. Beauty in my opinion is not defined by skinny, blonde, tall, long legs nor how sexy we can dress to prove that we are beautiful. Beauty is how you view yourself and it comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. I would also say that one of the most attractive features we women can have is to feel good about ourselves regardless of our body type, the color of our skin or what we wear. Granted cute clothes are icing on the cake but the real cake is how you feel about yourself. And how you view yourself will determine how others view you.

I really want to stress that being sexy is defined more than one way. It’s how you feel about yourself and not society telling you that you have to look like a model on a magazine cover. It also means being comfortable with our sexuality and knowing what pleases you. In fact, you should know your body well enough to not be afraid to express to your spouse what turns you on. If your not sure then you need to spend time finding that out.

Women unlike men may require more to become sexually aroused and something’s may make this a little more challenging but not impossible. For example, women who are menopausal or have difficulties with lubrication during intercourse, may want to buy an over the counter lubricant such as, Ky-jelly which is a water based lubricant. Another product to try is Zestra. Zestra is a non-prescription herbal-based oil that can provide lubrication by helping to increase blood flow to the vaginal area increasing arousal (Alexander, Berger 2005 p. 202).

If foreplay is not a part of your romantic routine with your spouse, it should be. Foreplay allows both you and your spouse to be connected and discover new techniques. Women can be stimulated in different ways and that's up to the woman to express that to her spouse. For instance, you may or may not have heard of the “G-Spot?” This spot is medically termed as the urethra sponge and it’s the erectile tissue that is surrounding the urethra. This area is located in the same surrounding area as the clitoris. The clitoris is another area where women can be sexually aroused. The urethra sponge (G-spot) is also described as the female prostate (Alexander, Berger 2005 p. 196). The urethral sponge is made up of blood vessels and glands and it can produce a fluid that is similar to what is produced by a male’s prostate. This spot can be found 2-3 inches inside the vagina toward the pubic mound. Being that it is above the front wall of the vagina, you or your spouse can find it by curving your fingers into a “come here” position. This area can be explored by massaging or pressing the area. By doing so it may feel like you have to urinate but then it may produce a pleasurable sensation, which may cause ejaculation (Alexander, Berger 2005 p. 197). Not all women experience this and it may take time or it may not work for you. Just think of it as another area for you and your spouse to explore to help increase your sexual pleasure.

In closing, what is important as a woman is to feel good about yourself, know your body and realize that your are beautiful. Beauty should be defined by you and not by a magazine cover nor what you see on the television. We can be our worse critiques but we can also be our loudest cheering section. Our bodies are beautiful no matter what size dress you wear or the color of your skin. I hope you take the steps to help women all around the world, redefine beauty as loving ourselves for who we are on the inside and outside and kick societies definition of beauty to the curb;-).




Alexander Bell Ruth, Berger Pamela, et al. Boston Women’s Health Collective: Our Bodies our Selves. New York, NY: 2005. Touchstone