I just returned from being on vacation so I thought I would use this week’s blog to highlight some interesting parts of my trip and it’s not what you may think. In fact, I thought I would talk about fears. We all have fears whether it’s the fear of the unknown, being in small dark places, getting lost, you fill in the blanks…During my trip, I managed to face a few of my personal fears and the good news is, I actually survived it;-). My plan was not to become a dare devil while on vacation nor was I remotely thinking about overcoming any of my fears. In fact, it just happened. On several instances I faced my fear of heights, wild animals and the fear of the unknown all in 2 weeks. When it comes to heights, I’ve always had this mental image of standing on the edge and falling off. But so far that has never happened. But the thought makes me go into a minor panic attack. I have learned that one of the ways to face your fears is to confront it. This is known as “flooding,” in psychological terms. One morning my family and I decided to go on a “easy” hike up to Rancheria Falls in the Sierra’s. The hike would have been fine if it were not for the snow that covered most of the trail making it difficult to find. The snow was so bad in some areas, that the trail became less of a hike and more like climbing through snow on the edge of a cliff. This quickly brought my mental image of standing on the edge and falling off into play, except this was not a mental image but reality. Thinking back, if I had known this, I may not have had the courage to go on the hike. In the end, the reward was great and the 150 ft falls was beautiful and I was proud of myself. Strangely enough, part of me enjoyed the intertwined emotions of being fearful (adrenaline) and euphoric from the grueling hike but yet accomplished.
The next day my family and I planned another hike around lake Florence. While driving through Kaiser Pass, I was blown away by the beautiful granite rock. So I decided then and there that I wanted to stop the car and start climbing, so I did. My spur of the moment adventurous endeavor sent me scaling 75 ft up a roughly 100 ft climb. I was doing great up until I decided to look down, that’s when my fear of heights froze me in place. And to be honest, I thought to myself, “what the hell was I thinking, there’s no way I can get down.” My son and husband looked up at me and said, “Are you coming down?” My response was, “I can’t…I can’t move!” I felt my heart beat 100 miles a minute and I felt like I could not get any air into my lungs fast enough. After several minutes, I regained my composure and took several deep breaths and thought to myself, “if I’m going to die, at least I’m doing something I enjoy.” After I entertained that thought, it was like I faced the worse thing that could happen. As strange as that may sound, it was a sense of relief for me and I was able to be more level headed and I worked my way down the rock. When I made it to the bottom, I found myself again somewhat enjoying those emotions of fear, euphoria and the sense of accomplishment when I was done.
After a few days we planned another hike but this time it was Kings Canyon. Again I had no plans of facing any fears but half way into our hike we encounter part of the trail being a foot under water, which does not seem so bad. But my problem was how long does this go on and how cold is the water? Without too much more thought, I took my shoes off and keep going. After a few seconds that water became excruciatingly painful, I almost turned around but my drive to see Roaring Falls and thinking to myself that the water was warm and not cold, kept me focused. And in the end, the fear of the unknown did not result in anything bad happening, it was just a fear that I overcame. I also found myself romancing the feelings of fear and accomplishment once again.
As we drove along deeper into Kings Canyon, I felt compelled to stop the car to get a closer look at Kings River. I was lost for words and mesmerized by the raging river. With all the rain we’ve had this past season, the river was practically overflowing. My imagination began to wonder, how could anyone ever survive after falling into the river? It would be impossible, which is all the reason why this river should be feared and respected. Kings River is beautifully violent and is nature at its rawest and it has my utmost respect.
Once again I faced my fear of heights head on by taking a ¼ of a mile hike up Moro Rock. Moro Rock entails a climb up 400 steps that ends at 6725 feet. I was fine making my way to the top of the stairs up until I looked over the edge. After that I started to feel my body freeze up, I couldn’t catch my breath and the thought of going over the side made me want to curl up into fetal position. After few seconds of entertaining my worse thoughts, I regained myself and made it to the top. This was my biggest challenge and I told myself when I get to the top I will raise my hands in victory. Long story short, I did raise my hands for .2 seconds and they quickly came down. I also felt relieved to talk to a woman from France who suffered from acrophobia as well and she too was facing her fear. Again I faced my fears and made it out alive and I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment.
On the last Friday of our trip we meet up with some family members to enjoy the rest of the sights together. And I remember my brother-in-law saying that he hoped to see a bear along the way so he could get some photographs. And I responded and said, “I don’t think that will happened since there are so many people sight seeing.” Needless to say, we encountered not only a bear but also a mama bear and her cubs several feet away. My first thought was, I couldn’t believe my eyes! I’ve never seen a bear and what are the chances of seeing the cubs as well. My second thought was, perhaps my brother-in-law could do some wishful thinking regarding the lottery? All joking a side, the bears were amazing but with all the spectators viewing the mama bear and her cubs, she was not happy. And to top it off there were people doing stupid things to get the bears attention. Clearly the bear began to feel threatened and acted out in away that showed it. All the time, I keep my distance and took some pictures but I knew it was time to let nature alone, so we left. Oh before I forget, I also encountered a few snakes along the hikes and that is another fear of mine. But in the end, I survived that as well.
So, what are your fears… and do you intend to face them? If your worst fear or fears crossed your path, what would you do? Speaking for myself, I plan to face my fears head on and not run away. I can also say from each fearful experience, I’ve discovered a different part of me. I know what it feels like to feel completely helpless and out of control and for me those are not good feelings since I’m a control freak. I’ve also learned what it’s like to be broken and made stronger and because of that, I would do it all over again;-).
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