This morning I was reading the paper and I came across a
story that stirred painful emotions and brought back memories of people whom I
knew personally who considered suicide and one whose actions were successful. The incident that brought back recent memories involved
Facebook. It was someone I knew who was in a relationship that fell apart
and he was devastated and posted notes on FB that was disturbing. I
contacted him to see what was going on and if he was ok?. Long story short, he
was fine after talking with him and time healed his broken heart.
The story was different for a 21 year old young man by the name of Antjuan Miguel Colvin. Colvin decided to take his life on Christmas day in Hughson California. He posted a
note on FB thanking his friends and family for the “impact they had on his life
but he could no longer take living.” When his friends and family found this out,
they tried desperately calling his cell. One friend whom he grew up with tried calling him “100 times” with no luck. Some thought he was
joking but he obviously was not. His girlfriend had no idea that he would do
such a thing. But his former girlfriend said “he could hide doubt and
depression behind his smile."
Most people who are contemplating suicide do show signs such
as: anger, drug and alcohol abuse, talk about dying, withdrawing from
friends and family, risky behavior, depression and no longer having pleasure in activities they
use to enjoy. In Colvin’s case, he posted a note back in November
on FB saying, “I hide all my problems behind my smile, behind my smile is a
world of pain, you think you know me but you don’t.”
What hurts me is he never knew the value of his life and
what he meant to others. People who knew him said, “ he was always smiling and
knew how to make people laugh.” Colvin made an impression on many lives and
people whom he did not know...such as me. Colvin won’t be forgotten and if anything
his story makes me want to open my heart more to others in need and it serves
as a reminder that we should never take ourselves or others for granted. I urge
anyone who reads this to take the time and care more for others and to be more
aware of anyone they may know who could be at risk of suicide. It really hurts when someone you know does
such an atrocious act…you can’t rewind time and bring them back. It leaves a
hole in your heart that never really closes but reopens when you read about
stories like this. Please value life and realize that you are a life gem and
can’t be replaced. You may think you don’t matter but you do…your priceless.
If you or anyone is at risk of harming themselves, please call National Suicide
Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
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